Hello beautiful friend.
Welcome to your weekly LoveGram.
Remember, in last week’s audio LoveGram we were were looking at the willingness (and courage!) to be the person who takes relationships to deeper, more meaningful levels?
There is so much more connection, joy, and meaning that we can experience if we set the intention to get more real and to go deeper with people in our lives.
Well, this week we are continuing along that same vein. However, we’re talkin’ about how we stay aligned with that willing and courageous person inside us who wants to deepen relationships — even when things might feel kinda hard with someone we love.
(To listen to the audio, just click over to this page, scroll down, and hit “play” on the audio player.)
Here’s the thing: sometimes we feel hurt by things that people we love say or do.
This is kind of inevitable when we are close to people. It just happens — usually unintentionally!
How do we handle these moments with love and grace?
I’ve been looking at this a lot this past week in a couple of my relationships. And that’s why I want to explore it with YOU!
Just the other day, my mentor and boss, Brendon Burchard said, “Sometimes our ego wants to take away what we most desire: authentic, deep, and meaningful relationships.” (Ego is Monkey Mind or our small separate self!)
I think that what he means by that is that some part of us can quickly slide down the ole slippery neural pathway into taking things personally or feeling so miffed that we forget how much we love someone and how much we want to nurture that relationship. And, instead, we might fire off a reaction that only serves to make things worse or to separate us further from that love we long for.
You know what I mean?
In today’s audio, we talk about how to hit the pause button when our feelings get hurt and how to get realigned with love.
I hope you’ll listen! Just click here.
However, if you are in a super hurry and want the CliffsNotes, here they are! I created a handy and helpful little framework of questions for myself that I want to share with you.
Questions for myself when my feelings get hurt:
- Am I coming from a place of love or fear/victimhood?
- Can I get clarity from this person without blaming or shaming them?
- Can I be direct about my feelings and not project what is going on for them?
- Can I align with my real, true, self and look at things from a wider, higher perspective?
Hey … just to be crystal clear: I’m not saying don’t feel your feelings or don’t express them. Just take some time to pause before responding to your person. Breathe, pause, and make sure they are YOUR feelings and not ego or the small self, which wants to be separate.
It is complicated to be a human being. There are so many different emotions that arise — sometimes a bunch of ’em come up all at once.
That’s okay. Nothing is wrong.
You’ve got this!
Thank you for being my friend and confidante.
You are capable of great relationships.
You can be the one to ignite them and nurture them.
I believe in you!
Seek celebration — even in dark corners,
P.S. Again, always let yourself feel your feelings. But also pay close attention to that ole devil on your shoulder that sometimes prods you to react quickly (and harshly) when a little quiet reflection might be helpful.