Yesterday I surprised my son, Kayne, with a book he really wants that just came out by a fave author. I started writing him a note to go with the gift — about how proud I am of all the new things he is trying— and was suddenly overcome with emotion. It was like a warm rain out of nowhere. And I remembered something my mother told me the day Kayne was born. She said, “You’re heart will always be open in a new way from this day on.” It’s so true.
I think what happened today was that I was making the space to acknowledge some ways that Kayne has challenged himself recently. And in stopping for a moment to write those things down, I really felt the significance of what he was doing for himself. (And modeling for me!)
I could put myself in his ten-year-old shoes (which so happen to be the exact same size as mine!) and feel all the trepidation and uncertainty he must have felt by taking up some new sports, joining a new school club, and starting piano lessons. I could see what courage it took (and continues to take) for him to be a beginner at all these things. To let himself stumble, learn, grow.
And on top of seeing all of that, what I also saw was what a huge gift it is to stop for a moment and spend some time thinking about someone we love. I’m in the midst of updating a guide to giving meaningful gifts and one of the things I talk about in it is that when we do it in a thoughtful way, the giving of presents (presence!) is always a huge gift to ourselves. That experience snuck itself right into my life today, as if to underscore what I had been writing.
I LOVE gifts that are unexpected, so I thought it would be fun to surprise Kayne with one. And, lucky me, it turned out to be an unexpected gift to myself — a huge well of love.