On being very patient.04-11-2009
I made a vow to myself that I wasn’t going to post blog entries because I should. You know how that voice creeps in and says, “You haven’t posted anything in a long time. You SHOULD write something. Now.” (Fill in the blank for whatever your own SHOULD is.)
I don’t want to do things in life because I should. And I guess that might make an interesting post, if I felt like exploring it more. But that’s not why I’m here right now.
I’m here to tell you that I actually did just write a blog post. And it wasn’t from a place of SHOULD. It was very much an “I wanna.”
I wrote the piece and it was fun to write. And then there was something I needed to link to as a reference. But when I went to link to that something, I noticed that part of the Simply Celebrate website had gone on vacation or went out for crumpets or something. Without any warning, it just walked away. I couldn’t link to where I needed to link. Fooey.
I could have posted the piece anyway. But being rather obsessive-compulsive, I just couldn’t do it without that link. So I emailed my biz partner, Trish, who is — among many other things— the brains behind the website HTML. I waited to see if she was online, even though it is after 9:15pm in the evening. No answer. My hand reached for the phone to call her. I could hear myself saying, “Part of the website is down and I need it for a blog link; can you fix it?”
I rested my hand on the phone. And thought. It is 9:15pm. Leave her alone. Let it rest. This is only urgent in your own head. There is no reason in the world this can’t wait until tomorrow.
And with that, I felt a great sense of relief. Suddenly a whole world opened up for me in my ability to see how often I get caught in a whirlwind of doing. I get trapped in these made-up stories about what needs to happen NOW.
If this can wait, I wonder what else can wait. I wonder if there is really a lot more breathing space than I generally allow myself to have.
How about you? What rushing can you halt? What can wait until tomorrow so you can read a poem, take a nap, call your friend, cook broccoli, hold your child, feel the sun on your face?