Tag Archives: support

LoveGram: This is not an easy topic.

Hello beautiful friend. 

Welcome to your Sunday audio LoveGram

Today’s LoveGram comes to you from Oakland, California where I’m in the midst of a three-day slumber party with a couple of girlfriends, Alison Luterman and Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer. 

Both of them are writers and extraordinarily intentional about their lives and their relationships. I knew I wanted to have them as special guests on my LoveGram — but didn’t know exactly what the topic would be. 

However, as it turns out, when we first got together, our conversation turned to grief. This seemed like a good conversation to share with you. 

I realize this is not a light nor breezy topic. But I feel it is an important and necessary one. 

Thus, in today’s LoveGram, we are talking about this challenging, yet powerful, topic: how to be with one another in times of loss and grief. 

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If we want to have deep, meaningful, and connected relationships in our lives, we have to learn how to be together in the hardest of times. 

We have to learn how to ask for support, allow support, and give support. 

But most of us weren’t taught how to do this! 

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I’ve been hosting weekly groups called Grief + Growth, in which we talk about aspects of grief. In the most recent one, last Thursday afternoon, one of the participants asked if anyone else had close friends and family who had abandoned them in times of grief. 

Almost everyone in the group raised their hand in an acknowledgement.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. How can we open ourselves up to learning about ways to show up for each other even when it is hard and we may feel inadequate? 

  (To listen to the audio, just click over to this page, scroll down, and hit “play” on the audio player.)

 

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Here are some of the topics we cover in today’s audio LoveGram: 

* Some of the reasons why we may not show up for people we love when they are grieving — or why they aren’t there for us. 

* What to say or do. And, how to be with someone grieving or challenged by loss. 

* What to do or how to get support for ourselves when we need it. 

Grief is a part of life. We are all going to experience it. Talking about it together can help us learn how to ask for the support we need and to give support to people we love. 

***

Thank you for being here and showing up for all of it — for the ups and downs and everything in between. 

When we are open to celebrating ALL of life, it allows us the spaciousness to find connection and meaning even in the hardest of times. 

Listen to your audio LoveGram now

Thank you for your beautiful heart. 

Thank you for wanting to love and be loved as best you can. 

I’m grateful to be on this journey with you. 

Seek celebration — even in dark corners,

xo Sherry

 

P.S. Ali and Rosemerry are both phenomenal women and beautiful creatives. You can learn more about Alison’s work here. And Rosemerry’s work here

P.P.S. Just a reminder that any loss in your life can be filled with grief — death, illness, divorce, miscarriage, empty nest, alienation from a friend, etc. If you feel something as grief, I hope you honor it and seek support. 

P.P.P.S. See our sweaters in the photo up above? Did you notice that they all have the words “faerie lights” embroidered on them? Rosemerry did that! These sweaters were an oh-so-special surprise gift with beautiful, personal meaning to us! The last time we three were together, we made up a “band name” for ourselves, The Faerie Lights. Rosemerry took that fun detail/memory and made a “Say it Now” kinda gift. Note: That thoughtful gift inspired us to make up silly songs all weekend long, pretending they were for our first album. It’s been so much fun! Think about how you can do something like this as a creative gift for someone in your life!

We need more joy!

Remember last week I was telling you the story of how my beau and I almost missed the crazy beautiful lunar eclipse?

I made a video about it because it has such an impact on me. I mean, heck, I’m a coach. I talk about following through on intention all the time. And yet, that ole Squawky Polly mind almost had me choose the comfy couch over a rare (and romantic) lunar happening!

How is it possible to be so easily lured into listening to a voice in my head that tells me what I should do or not do?  Especially when I know that voice is always wanting me to lie low and live listlessly?

I’ve been thinking about this so much lately.

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Here’s something related, something I also nearly missed: The Edwardian Ball.

Every year in San Francisco (and Los Angeles, too!) there is an enchanting steampunk event filled with music, performances, fashion, and a whole lotta beauty.

Ian and I almost skipped it this year. “It’s too expensive.” “Finding what to wear takes so much time.” “Do we really need to attend again?”

There were those voices. There was that same process of dragging us down.

Thank goodness we didn’t listen. Instead, we focused on how connecting it is for us to go and how it always makes us so happy.

And so … we went. we had a blast, it was an amazing night!

I’ve been thinking about how important it is for people to be surrounded by beauty, color, music, and laughter.

We need it.

It would be easy to think of something like this ball as frivolous when there are so many serious and important happenings in the world. When there is so much hardship. When there is so much violence, anger, and divisiveness.

But an event like this feeds people’s spirits. I think it brings us back to our basic human joy of being together in celebration. Being called to be creative and being given the space for self -expression are so important.

Lightness + joy can bring out the best in us.

I know it is a luxury. And I am so grateful.

 

This makes me think about when I visited Mali, West Africa, in the 1990’s. I was enchanted with the colorful clothing and with the drumming/music. People gathered outside frequently to be together and sing/dance/play music. There is such a depth of connection that comes from that shared joy. Music and color and expression are woven into the culture.

It seemed to me that families didn’t need a reason to dance, sing, or wear colorful clothing. They just created it. In the mud huts or in the dusty streets. An abundance of joy and community.

We need more of it. (Joy, laughter, community.)

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What does it look like for YOU?

I don’t know what it looks like for you. It might not be African drumming or a steampunk ball. Maybe it is listening to classical music while watching the lunar eclipse. Maybe it is baking cookies with your children and decorating them in crazy colors then dancing around the kitchen together. Maybe it is wearing your best dress + lighting some candles when you make pizza at home with your spouse tomorrow evening. Maybe it is making art and hiding it for people to find in a public place. Maybe it is going to see dance or an art exhibit that calls to you. Maybe it is knitting colorful gloves for the homeless. Maybe it is making art yourself, even with finger paints. Maybe it is simply singing out loud as you walk home from the bus stop.

What kind of music or self-expression or color do you long to have more of in your life?

Do you have the support you need to keep moving toward it?

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Joy is infectious.

I know part of the reason this Edwardian Ball is so much fun is because everyone who attends REALLY SHOWS UP. People take the time to create amazing costumes and to bring an openness to be enchanted. They show up ready to connect + laugh.

I’ve attended a camp for adults that is called Life is a Verb Camp, created by Patti Digh. It is completely different, but also the same. People show up for that event ready to experience magic and connection. There is an intention set way before the camp ever starts. People crave creativity + authentic connection and so they become it. They bring it.

I think we need more of this in our daily lives. This intention to find magic.

When I write that, I can’t help but think of Bill Cunningham, who said, “Those who seek beauty are sure to find it.”

We can be better at helping one another seek and create beauty and joy.

And why not? Life is fleeting. It goes by so fast! We can create excuses to dance and laugh together. We can make up holidays. We can celebrate way more than we allow ourselves to.

Let’s do!

I really think one of my main purposes here on earth, but more specifically, as a high performance coach, is to help people open up more and more to what lights them up. What feels like a celebration of your own unique spirit?

From that lit-up place of celebration in ourselves and our own lives, we easily access a well of generosity to give to others.

As I’m writing that, I’m thinking how much fun it would be to do a very small group coaching program that kickstarts that place of being lit up. How great it would be to journey together and explore who we want to be in the world and how we find the energy/time to make that happen.

What do you think?

Email me at Sherry @Simplycelebrate.net and let me know if you’d like to be a part of a short, three or four- week kickstart joy group.

 

Seek celebration — even in dark corners,

xo Sherry