Tag Archives: relationships

LoveGram: Love in Action

 

Hey there, beautiful friend!

Today I send you this beautiful virtual music player and its whimsical and tender characters reminding us of how quickly times goes by.

I send you its mother duck and ducklings, its stooped-over grandma, and the couple who meet on a park bench and spend their lives together.

***

Welcome to your Sunday audio LoveGram.

The music you hear at the start of your audio LoveGram is that music box, by Jane Bordeaux.

Today’s LoveGram is just about ten minutes, a little shorter than usual, because for many people in the United States this is Thanksgiving Week. That means, extra travel, extra connections, extra cooking.

So, my message is a tad shorter, but as much from my heart as always.

(To listen to the audio, just click over to this page, scroll down, and hit “play” on the audio player.)

***

On Friday, I had the pleasure of offering a workshop to forty-plus really wonderful women. We explored the topic I shared with you last week, “How to Make the Holidays Your Own.”

One of things that touched me the most is the people who said to me afterward, “Thank you. I needed permission to make the holidays a little less stressful and a lot more meaningful for myself. Reflecting on this gave me some ideas to talk to my family about.”

That’s what I am hoping for YOU. Remember that this is YOUR life and you can be the one to initiate conversations with your family and friends about what you need!

If you missed that LoveGram, you can listen here. Or, you can read an article I published. (Make sure you journal about the questions in there!)

***

If you listen to this week’s LoveGram, you will hear more about this. But also, about a new favorite topic of mine: “Yes is not theoretical,” which I learned from my Zen Sangha this week.

Love is not passive. It is an action word. This week, as you connecting with family and friends, I hope you will be intentional about who you are, how you show up, and what you bring to the table.

(Ha Ha, I wrote that and immediately thought PIE! But really, I meant the metaphorical table!)

I explain more in the audio!

***

Sending gratitude to you for who you are.

I see you.

I see your generous heart. 

I see the ways you care and how you offer love. 

As always, I’m grateful to you for being on this journey with me.

As Ram Dass says, “We are all just walking each other home.”

You don’t have to do it alone! 

We are here, together.

Seek celebration — even in dark corners,

xo Sherry

 

P.S. Oh! Here’s the workshop I mentioned in today’s audio! It is hosted by a wonderful organization, Reimagine. We’re celebrating The New Black Friday! Bring your children, family, or BFF’s! Come in your pajamas and put LOVE INTO ACTION!

LoveGram: Show Up, Love!

Hello beautiful friend.

Welcome to your Sunday audio LoveGram.

Today I send you a listening ear.

I send you a whispered, “yes.”

I send you a a kitten, a ball of yellow yarn, and some accordion music.

****

In today’s LoveGram, we are talking about how we can give people what they want most in the world: our full attention.

We’re talking about some simple things to do that will show you’re listening and that you care.

We’re talking, as we often are, about how to love better!

(To listen to the audio, just click over to this page, scroll down, and hit “play” on the audio player.)

***

You know me. I love to talk about creative gift giving. I love to offer ideas of fun things we can do and make and experience as gifts to others.

But you know what? The simplest and easiest gift is to BE PRESENT!!!

It sounds so obvious, but the question is, do we practice it?

We must! In earnest!

Because — the people in our lives deserve it!

***

[Spoiler Alert]

I know some of you love to listen to the audio, but others prefer to read. There’s always so much more in the audio— music, laughter, glitches, subtleties! But if you must rush, here are your CliffsNotes!

Simple Ways to Show Up and Show You Care:

  • Schedule time with people you love. (Or, stop what you are doing when they walk in the room!)
  • Clear your mind before meeting them or take a deep breath to center yourself when they show up.
  • Put your phone down — or away!
  • Greet them with joy.
  • Look in their eyes.
  • Don’t fiddle.
  • Don’t interrupt.
  • Nod or make agreeing kinds of sounds.
  • Say, “this is so interesting!” or “I love that!”
  • Say, “tell me more!”
  • Keep the conversation flowing in the direction they were going!

***

Thank you for being here and showing up because you care.

Listen to your audio LoveGram now.

Thank you for your generous heart and kind spirit.

I see you!

Thank you for wanting to love and be loved as best you can.

I’m grateful to be on this journey with you.

Seek celebration — even in dark corners,

xo Sherry

LoveGram: This is not an easy topic.

Hello beautiful friend. 

Welcome to your Sunday audio LoveGram

Today’s LoveGram comes to you from Oakland, California where I’m in the midst of a three-day slumber party with a couple of girlfriends, Alison Luterman and Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer. 

Both of them are writers and extraordinarily intentional about their lives and their relationships. I knew I wanted to have them as special guests on my LoveGram — but didn’t know exactly what the topic would be. 

However, as it turns out, when we first got together, our conversation turned to grief. This seemed like a good conversation to share with you. 

I realize this is not a light nor breezy topic. But I feel it is an important and necessary one. 

Thus, in today’s LoveGram, we are talking about this challenging, yet powerful, topic: how to be with one another in times of loss and grief. 

***

If we want to have deep, meaningful, and connected relationships in our lives, we have to learn how to be together in the hardest of times. 

We have to learn how to ask for support, allow support, and give support. 

But most of us weren’t taught how to do this! 

***

I’ve been hosting weekly groups called Grief + Growth, in which we talk about aspects of grief. In the most recent one, last Thursday afternoon, one of the participants asked if anyone else had close friends and family who had abandoned them in times of grief. 

Almost everyone in the group raised their hand in an acknowledgement.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. How can we open ourselves up to learning about ways to show up for each other even when it is hard and we may feel inadequate? 

  (To listen to the audio, just click over to this page, scroll down, and hit “play” on the audio player.)

 

***

Here are some of the topics we cover in today’s audio LoveGram: 

* Some of the reasons why we may not show up for people we love when they are grieving — or why they aren’t there for us. 

* What to say or do. And, how to be with someone grieving or challenged by loss. 

* What to do or how to get support for ourselves when we need it. 

Grief is a part of life. We are all going to experience it. Talking about it together can help us learn how to ask for the support we need and to give support to people we love. 

***

Thank you for being here and showing up for all of it — for the ups and downs and everything in between. 

When we are open to celebrating ALL of life, it allows us the spaciousness to find connection and meaning even in the hardest of times. 

Listen to your audio LoveGram now

Thank you for your beautiful heart. 

Thank you for wanting to love and be loved as best you can. 

I’m grateful to be on this journey with you. 

Seek celebration — even in dark corners,

xo Sherry

 

P.S. Ali and Rosemerry are both phenomenal women and beautiful creatives. You can learn more about Alison’s work here. And Rosemerry’s work here

P.P.S. Just a reminder that any loss in your life can be filled with grief — death, illness, divorce, miscarriage, empty nest, alienation from a friend, etc. If you feel something as grief, I hope you honor it and seek support. 

P.P.P.S. See our sweaters in the photo up above? Did you notice that they all have the words “faerie lights” embroidered on them? Rosemerry did that! These sweaters were an oh-so-special surprise gift with beautiful, personal meaning to us! The last time we three were together, we made up a “band name” for ourselves, The Faerie Lights. Rosemerry took that fun detail/memory and made a “Say it Now” kinda gift. Note: That thoughtful gift inspired us to make up silly songs all weekend long, pretending they were for our first album. It’s been so much fun! Think about how you can do something like this as a creative gift for someone in your life!

LoveGram: What’s to Celebrate?

 

Hello beautiful friend. 

Welcome to your Sunday audio LoveGram

Today I send you tiki lamps, string lights, and sunflowers. 

I send you a gal in a pink wig and a guy in a pork pie hat on a green tandem bike. 

I send you cream-colored vintage luggage on the steps of a blue and red cottage. 

***

In today’s LoveGram, we are talking about something the world really needs right now: celebration and play! 

In my audio, I share with you some insights I had after making a list of some “must-haves” for my birthday last week. I hadn’t realized that these weren’t just fun party things, they were truly an elixir for my spirit. 

(To listen to the audio, just click over to this page, scroll down, and hit “play” on the audio player.)

***

Here’s what I want you to know: 

Celebration isn’t just for birthdays or other special occasions. 

Celebration doesn’t have to be earned. 

Celebration isn’t just for when we’re feeling happy. 

Celebration is essential for us to create meaning in our lives and to make moments memorable. 

***

After the last two years of so much grief, loss, and disappointment, it is time for us to bring some play and celebration to ourselves and others. 

How will you do that? 

Here are a few questions that may spark some thoughts on your own brand of celebration:

  • When was the last time you celebrated something?
  • What needs to happen for you to plan a celebration? 
  • What kinds of things help you to feel celebratory?
  • What settings feel like a celebration? 
  • Who are your favorite people to celebrate with?
  • Have you ever celebrated something or someone when you were sad? 
  • In the next two weeks, what celebration is coming up? How will you plan for it? 
  • Would you consider celebrating “just because?” What would that look like? 

 

***

I today’s audio I share more ideas with you about creating memorable moments for yourself and people you love.

Listen to your audio LoveGram now! 

***

Be willing to step out of the same-ole, same-ole and create some magic. 

You will be so happy that you did! 

I can’t wait to hear!! 

Seek celebration — even in dark corners,

xo Sherry

 

P.S. Save the date for Saturday, October 15th at 9am PT/12n ET for our next Secret Agents of Change Mission. Make sure you are signed up on our email list so you receive the information on how to participate. 

LoveGram: About Birthdays!

Welcome to your Sunday audio LoveGram.

Today I send you a pink flamingo.

I send you a sunflower, suddenly blossomed, in your front yard.

I send you a song, sung just for you, with just the right words to make you feel loved and understood.

***

Hey! Today is my birthday! (That’s little me, up above in the photo. I guess I loved hats even 50+ years ago!)

So, in celebration, today’s audio LoveGram is focused on ways to celebrate someone without that cookie-cutter imperative, “Happy Birthday.”

AND, we also touch on how to make YOUR birthday fit where you are in the moment. (It’s your birthday, you can cry if you want to!)

In other words, balloons and confetti are great when they suit the mood and feel real. But let’s pause at birthday time (yours or someone else’s!) and think about what’s right for this moment.

Don’t just rush at ’em with that overdone birthday song, put yourself in their shoes and imagine what kind of love they really need.

(To listen to the audio, just click over to this page, scroll down, and hit “play” on the audio player.)

***

Special thanks to Becky DeRoches, whose personalized birthday song to me kicked off our audio today! You can listen to the whole song on the audio LoveGram page for this week.

Becky sent me this song for my 50th birthday, eight years ago. I listen to it every single year on my birthday. It is a shining, beautiful example of “Say it Now” in action.

***

[Spoiler alert]

I know that some of you prefer to read rather than listen. So, I’m gonna give you the nuts and bolts right here. However, I encourage you to listen because there is so much subtlety to this topic.

(And, you will get to hear Becky’s song!)

Ready?

Here are two things I want you to think about when it comes to birthdays:

When it is your birthday, give yourself permission to ask for what you want or need.

Your celebration could be a dinner party or dancing. It could be tea with a friend or reading a book under a tree. Follow YOUR energy and heart. And reach out to ask for people to show up in a way that will most support you.

When it is your birthday or someone else’s birthday, there is no requirement to have a “Happy Birthday.”

Please try to pause before you sing the birthday song to someone or text a dancing “Happy Birthday” gif to them. Consider whether they are grieving, lost, or lonely. If they are having a challenging time, send them love and appreciation. Be real. And thoughtful. Don’t simply resort to a sing-songy message that may leave them feeling worse.

If you want to hear a more in-depth explanation of why these are so important and necessary, listen to your audio LoveGram now!

***

Thank you, as always, for being here. I love sharing life with you. 

I know you. I see your generous heart. 

I know you want to bring more life into your life. 

I applaud you for being someone on a path of awareness and who practices joy. 

Be intentional. 

Be courageous. 

Be willing to celebrate yourself and others in ways that are authentic and perfect for the moment. 

Sending you love.

Seek celebration — even in dark corners,

xo Sherry

 

P.S.  I launched my Birthday Kindness Project earlier this week and opened up slots for letters to people who needs boosts of love. Thank you to everyone who responded! I love you and will get back to each of you within a few days! 

P.P.S Want to help me celebrate my birthday in the best way possible? I would be so grateful if you would purchase my book, “Say it Now.” The message of expressing our love and appreciation is so important to me. Your support means TONS! If you’ve already bought a copy, would you consider clicking that same link and leaving a review or purchasing a copy for a friend or your local library? THANK YOU! 

LoveGram: Who do you want to be today?

Hey there, beautiful friend!

Today I send you a double rainbow.

I send you a four-leaf clover right there, where you are about to step.

I send you a tiny bug, inching its way across the sidewalk, doing its best to get where it wants to go.

***

Welcome to your Sunday audio LoveGram. 

In today’s LoveGram, I share a very simple practice with you that you can do in the morning —or any time at all— to help you remember who you want to be in the world.

You will love this tiny tool!

(To listen to the audio, just click over to this page, scroll down, and hit “play” on the audio player.)

***

This practice is deceptively simple.

You’ll see.

If you try it, you will feel a big impact from just a little bit of “work.”

***

[Spoiler alert]I know that some of you may prefer to read rather than listen. So, I’m gonna give you the nuts and bolts right here.

Ready?

What you want to do right after you’ve awoken in the morning — while you are having your tea, when you are out on your run, while you are in the shower, while you are simply sitting watching the morning begin, or whatever — is to take a few minutes to think about all the things you have on your plate for the day.

THEN … ask yourself this question: “Who do I want to be?”

Do this for every activity on your schedule.

  • Who do I want to be when I have that Zoom call with my work?
  • Who do I want to be when I have lunch with my sister?
  • Who do I want to be when my kids come home from school?
  • Who do I want to be when I have that challenging conversation I’ve been dreading?

My mentor, Brendon Burchard, suggested you assign three specific words to how you want to feel. If you have a meeting with your boss, maybe you want to be confident, collaborative, and open.

For that difficult conversation I mentioned up above, maybe you want to be brave, honest, and loving.

When you are with your children, after dinner, perhaps you want to playful, open, and present?

That’s it!

Or, as they used to say at the end of Looney Tunes, the-the-that’s all folks!

If you want to hear a more in-depth explanation of why this is so powerful, listen to your audio LoveGram now!

***

Thank you, as always, for being here. I love sharing life with you.

I know you. I see your generous heart.

I know you want to bring more life into your life.

I applaud you for being this kind of person. The people in your life love you for this, too.

Be intentional.

Be courageous.

Be willing to step out of the same-ole, same-ole and live into who and how you want to be.

You will be so happy that you did!

I can’t wait to hear how it goes.

Seek celebration — even in dark corners,

xo Sherry

Do you live in the SF Bay Area? Join me!

 

I am so excited to be leading a workshop with the wonderful and energetic Kate Farrell at the Mechanics’ Institute this coming Saturday from 11am-1pm.

We are going to be exploring Storytelling as a Gift in the beautiful historic San Francisco setting!

Everyone who participates will learn about crafting a story that can be a personal gift to someone you love!

JOIN US!!!!

Register here by 10am on September 24th!

LoveGram: Surprise someone with this!

Hey there, beautiful friend!

Today I send you a striped, multi-colored croquet set, ready for play.

I send you a man wearing an orange beret, riding a green bicycle with a small dog in the basket.

I send you a hummingbird, right outside of the window, like she’s saying “Wheeee!”

***

Welcome to your Sunday audio LoveGram.

In today’s LoveGram, we are continuing our conversation about how to be the one to deepen and elevate your relationships.

Hey — I just noticed those two words: going deep or going higher. Creating more meaning and also more lightness!

This is a new phase in the world and it is time for us to acknowledge that relationships are essential to our well-being and our sense of belonging in the world.

Relationships help us grow.

They challenge us to see more, experience more, and feel more!

Listen to today’s Audio LoveGram all about this topic.

***

Two weeks ago, in a LoveGram called “Be The One,” we explored ways to begin conversations so our connection would be uplifting and would cultivate positive feelings. (Instead of connecting via complaint, which can be an unconscious habit for many of us!)

Last week, we explored how to “Press the Pause Button” when we are hurt or feeling angry so that we could intentionally choose to come from a place of love.

Today, we are talking about creating a container that encourages simple adventure, play, and novelty.

***

In today’s audio LoveGram, I tell you a story about going to an Open House with my beau, Ian. We aren’t looking to buy a house and we actually never stepped foot into that house for sale, however, driving to that Open House was like a mini road trip!

Simply by “putting a frame around it” or “creating a container” we experienced our time together in an entirely new way. It was amazing!

Instead of simply driving back to his house, which is what we had been doing, suddenly everything seemed technicolor and fascinating.

Look at that! Look at that! We saw all kinds of interesting things as we circled the streets, in search of this Open House.

As it turned out, the Open House was closed by the time we arrived. Haha.

However, we parked in front of it and turned that closed Open House into more novelty for ourselves.

Listen to the LoveGram to hear what we did, because this is something I want YOU to do!!

***

I give you several variations on this “adventure” because I want you to commit to something like this with someone in your life.

The next time you and your spouse or child or BFF are slated to spend some time together, I want you to turn the ordinary into something extraordinary.

I give you some simple ideas that don’t cost any money or require any special landscape! Listen to today’s audio, create some novelty, then please email me and let me know how it went!!

***

I know you. I see your generous heart.

I know you want to bring more life into your life.

I applaud you for being this kind of person. The people in your life love you for this, too.

Be intentional.

Be courageous.

Be willing to step out of the same-ole, same-ole and create a magical moment.

You will be so happy that you did!

I can’t wait to hear!!

Seek celebration — even in dark corners,

xo Sherry

 

P.S. Here’s a link to the Coldplay song, “Adventure of a Lifetime.”

LoveGram: Press the Pause Button

 

Hello beautiful friend.

Welcome to your weekly LoveGram.

Remember, in last week’s audio LoveGram we were were looking at the willingness (and courage!) to be the person who takes relationships to deeper, more meaningful levels?

There is so much more connection, joy, and meaning that we can experience if we set the intention to get more real and to go deeper with people in our lives.

Well, this week we are continuing along that same vein. However, we’re talkin’ about how we stay aligned with that willing and courageous person inside us who wants to deepen relationships — even when things might feel kinda hard with someone we love.

(To listen to the audio, just click over to this page, scroll down, and hit “play” on the audio player.)

***

Here’s the thing: sometimes we feel hurt by things that people we love say or do.

This is kind of inevitable when we are close to people. It just happens — usually unintentionally!

How do we handle these moments with love and grace?

***

I’ve been looking at this a lot this past week in a couple of my relationships. And that’s why I want to explore it with YOU!

Just the other day, my mentor and boss, Brendon Burchard said, “Sometimes our ego wants to take away what we most desire: authentic, deep, and meaningful relationships.” (Ego is Monkey Mind or our small separate self!)

I think that what he means by that is that some part of us can quickly slide down the ole slippery neural pathway into taking things personally or feeling so miffed that we forget how much we love someone and how much we want to nurture that relationship. And, instead, we might fire off a reaction that only serves to make things worse or to separate us further from that love we long for.

You know what I mean?

***

In today’s audio, we talk about how to hit the pause button when our feelings get hurt and how to get realigned with love.

I hope you’ll listen! Just click here.

However, if you are in a super hurry and want the CliffsNotes, here they are! I created a handy and helpful little framework of questions for myself that I want to share with you.

 Questions for myself when my feelings get hurt:

  • Am I coming from a place of love or fear/victimhood?
  • Can I get clarity from this person without blaming or shaming them?
  • Can I be direct about my feelings and not project what is going on for them?
  • Can I align with my real, true, self and look at things from a wider, higher perspective?

Hey … just to be crystal clear:  I’m not saying don’t feel your feelings or don’t express them. Just take some time to pause before responding to your person. Breathe, pause, and make sure they are YOUR feelings and not ego or the small self, which wants to be separate.

***

It is complicated to be a human being. There are so many different emotions that arise — sometimes a bunch of ’em come up all at once.

That’s okay. Nothing is wrong.

You’ve got this!

***

Thank you for being my friend and confidante.

You are capable of great relationships.

You can be the one to ignite them and nurture them.

I believe in you!

Seek celebration — even in dark corners,

xo Sherry

 

P.S. Again, always let yourself feel your feelings. But also pay close attention to that ole devil on your shoulder that sometimes prods you to react quickly (and harshly) when a little quiet reflection might be helpful.

LoveGram: Be the One!

 

Hello beautiful friend.

Welcome to your Sunday audio LoveGram.

This week, we’re looking at the willingness (and courage!) to be the person to take relationships to deeper, more meaningful levels.

My mentor, Brendon Burchard expresses this as “be the one to elevate your relationships.”

Why?

Because there is so much more connection, joy, and meaning that we can experience if we set the intention to get more real and to go deeper with people in our lives.

***

(To listen to the audio, just click over to this page, scroll down, and hit “play” on the audio player.)

***

A couple weeks ago I sent you a very short video talking about how the world has shifted since the pandemic and how we’ve all really “gotten it” in our bones that our relationships are the real priority in our lives.

If you missed that five-minute video, here it is!

It’s time to focus on our friends and family even more. 

It’s time to love more deeply. 

It’s time to bring more magic, sparkle, and novelty to our relationships so they feel even more meaningful than ever! 

***

In today’s audio, we talk about how to do this, especially at the start of a conversation or the beginning of a visit with someone.

Here are just a few idea for questions you can use to spark uplifting and connecting conversations with people:

  • What is something beautiful you saw or experienced today?
  • Did anything out of the ordinary happen this week?
  • Did something make you laugh today?
  • What did you love best about your week?
  • Did you read or watch anything that was thought-provoking?
  • What feels juicy in your life right now?
  • Did you have any interesting conversations that inspired you?
  • What would make you feel more supported by me?

***

Be the one to elevate the relationships in your life and make them deeper and more connected. Ask generative questions that spark love!

I know it might feel a little uncomfortable or vulnerable, but the payoff is worth it, I promise.

You will feel more intimacy and a closer bond. You will also be uplifted by some new ways of thinking!

And you know what? I bet the person you’re interacting with will also feel those uplifts!

***

Thank you for being my friend and confidante.

You are capable of great relationships. 

You can be the one to ignite them! 

I believe in you!

Seek celebration — even in dark corners,

xo Sherry

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