One of the places in life where it can seem like there’s no room for celebration is when people are grieving, lost, ill, or lonely.

But I define “celebration” as choosing to be present to what is going on in our lives and finding a way to connect. Celebration is the ability to offer (or receive) that one little pinpoint of light that changes everything when things feel pitch black.

There is a quiet joy, a comfort, in sharing sorrow. It can bring us to a place of remembering our shared humanity and fragility. It can weave us together in love.

I had a beautiful conversation about this with my dear friend, Jane Duncan Rogers, whose business is dedicated to helping people have a good death + supporting those left behind with their grief.

In our 30-minute video conversation, we talked about a lot of things. But one of them was “What kinds of gifts can I bring for someone who is grieving?” And also, “How do I prepare myself if my gift is not well received.”

We also talked a lot about the gift of showing up, exactly as who we are, for someone we love. There is no way to put a price on what it can mean to someone to sit beside them and simply hold their hand. We know this place for ourselves, right? That loving energy is a tremendous gift. Jane and I talk about how to take care of and prepare ourselves for showing up when someone is grieving.

I hope you’ll watch the half-hour conversation + let me know what you think.

Seek celebration, even in the dark corners—


P.S. One of the places where I practice celebrating in the dark is when I’m writing my Birthday Kindness Project letters, which I’ve been doing for the past six years. Many of the people I am writing to have experienced deep grief or loss. They may be depressed or feeling hopeless. I use some of the tools I talk about in that video with Jane to center myself and care for myself in order to write these letters. I’m continuing to feel deep gratitude to all of you who have requested letters. I’ll be opening up some slots again soon!