Tag Archives: permission

Permission, Take 2

 

How are you, my friend?

On Sunday, my audio LoveGram was all about giving yourself permission to really accept and love who you ARE

Please, do NOT try to squeeze yourself into a container that is the wrong size.

Find the YOU-sized container and trust how perfect it is. Trust how perfect you are.

***

Your celebration moment this week is to close your eyes and see if you can breathe in a feeling of deep acceptance and love for WHO YOU ARE.

Can you trust that you are lovable exactly as you are?

I want that for YOU.

I want that for every person on this planet.

***

I’ve realized over the years that the true sense of belonging comes not from thinking I need to be like others or that I somehow need to mold myself into some perfect person, but from being 100% myself.

It comes from belonging to my own heart and belonging in my own life.

It comes from belonging with others who are committed to the living their best, most unique and authentic life.

And you know what? That’s what I appreciate so much about you.

We taking steps, one by one, to become who we really are.

Yep, that’s what we’re celebrating today!

***

YOU MATTER!

YOU, exactly who you are. Not some fictional idea of who you should be.

Celebration is waiting for us.

It is right here, in this moment, when we love who we are, the people around us, and the shape of our lives.

I love you and am cheering you on, always.

Thanks for who you are.

Seek celebration — even in the dark corners,

xo Sherry

 

LoveGram: Permission to take up space

Hey Beautiful friend,

Welcome to this week’s LoveGram. I’m happy you are here. I’m happy to be here with YOU!

Today, I send you a suitcase large enough to fit your huge, generous heart.

I send you the biggest, most prominent seat at the table.

I send you that feeling of being filled up with worthiness and self-love.

****

In today’s LoveGram, we talk about what it feels like to try to squeeze ourselves into a container that is not quite the right size.

I ask the question, for all of us, “What is the YOU-size and will you allow yourself to ease into it and be as YOU as you possibly can?”

How can we give ourselves real permission to express who we are, even when we feel like who we are is not the “right person”?

(To listen to the audio, just click over to this page, scroll down, and hit “play” on the audio player.)

****

Here are the Cliff’s Notes. (Remember those? Those little black and gold booklets that gave the gist of novels without any of the poetry of the writing. And, yeah, when I looked up the name I was shocked that it wasn’t Cliff Notes, but Cliff’s!)

I’m headed on a three-week trip. I thought the really kind thing to do for myself would be to take a carry-on suitcase. After all, I’m traveling from Paris to Toulouse to Barcelona to Seville to Lisbon. There will surely be a lot of trains and metros and stairs and what-have-yous. I will be up and down a lot of stairs and going to and fro.

***

Now, what you need to know about me is that I don’t travel light. I never have.

If I go away for a weekend, I typically take ten bags. I take food and my yoga mat and seventeen books and project files and several changes of hats and … well, you get the picture.

I am not a “good” packer. I am not that girl who arrives with a tiny bag that looks like a purse and inside it is a bathing suit that doubles as an evening dress that doubles as hiking shorts.

We’ve all met her, right? Maybe you are her?!

But, nope. Not me.

In fact, I am a girl who usually travels with an extra-special, little, flowered suitcase just for my hats! I would have done really well back in 1902, lugging a few steamer trunks with me, happy as a clam.

However, here we are in 2022. And, somewhere buried in my consciousness is the belief that “a good person” is a minimalist. A “good person” is that handbag-carrying gal. A “good person” is someone who does not take up a lot of space.

So, long-story-short, I tried to test-pack last weekend and it was a disaster. I was so frustrated and sad. Those carry-on bags are teeny tiny! I couldn’t fit my orange and black happy shoes with the x’s and o’s like kisses and hugs all over them. I couldn’t fit my fun faux-fur coat. Yeesh, I couldn’t even squeeze in an umbrella!

I felt so disappointed in myself. And could feel the stress of it.

Thankfully, GRACE dropped in. (Thank you, universe!)

I often listen to a meditation as I am falling asleep. During the meditation, I heard a voice, as if someone were in the room with me. It said, “Honey, you are not a carry-on kinda gal.”

There was so much compassion and love in that voice I heard.

I suddenly felt so light and free. I could be ME! I could take a larger suitcase and check it. I wouldn’t overpack and make it too heavy to carry on stairs, but it would be bigger than that thimble-sized carry-on, for sure!

***

This all brings to mind a favorite quote by ee cummings: “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”

Today’s audio LoveGram is all about that courage to step into who YOU are.

I was trying to squeeze myself into a carry-on size container, when really, I need a couple steamer trunks.

I hope you will listen and reflect on what this means to you.

You can find that audio here.

***

I will be traveling for a few weeks. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you!

I’ve scheduled a couple blogs to post for you while I am gone. That way, you will know you are on my mind, even as I pack my big ole trunk and fly across the ocean.

***

While I’m away, I hope you will practice radical self-acceptance.

I can assure you, it is freeing and fun.

Seek celebration — even in dark corners,

Xo Sherry

 

P.S. Drat! I included some music on my audio, but missed my chance. I could have used the Peter, Paul, and Mary song, “Leaving on a Jet Plane!” (You can hum it to yourself right now!)

P.P.S. Last Wednesday, April 13th, The Mango Publishing Heart Wisdom Panel I facilitated was focused on “Fierce Kindness and Courage.”  I encourage you to watch the replay. It was very thought-provoking — especially the parts about when honesty is kind or not!

 

LoveGram: The Everything of it

Last week I talked to you about permission.

Remember?

I was giving myself permission to let go in many different ways.

I encouraged you to do the same, if you needed it.

Having allowed myself that break, I can see that lots of things moved on through.

Like a young child, who allows herself to have a big cry when her ice cream cone falls to the ground, it passes. All that emotion goes from a wail to a whimper pretty quickly.

If we let it.

And then, next thing you know, a cute chubby puppy waddles by and that toddler is all smiles again.

Allowing is the sister of permission, I think.

We give ourselves permission to feel. We give ourselves space. We quiet our lives and minds.

And then, we allow our feelings.

We allow and we accept.

On today’s Audio LoveGram (Yep! Audio is back folks!) I tell you the story that dropped in as I was talking to you.

It has to do with a beautiful accordion player this morning. It has to do with me, smiling and listening happily.

And it has to do with the blaring of car alarm, on and on and on.

The everything of it.

The all of it.

All this beauty of being a human being.

My wish for you this week is that you carry around a basket of everything in your heart. Let it all nestle together, let it tumble and toss. Let it be what it is.

Permission. Allowing. Accepting. All the beauty.

That’s your challenge.

You up for it?

I hope so.

I’m here with you.

We’re all just walking each other home. Again and again and again.

And along the way, we get the accordions and we get the sunflowers and we get the fallen ice cream and we get the car alarms and we get all the sorrows and all the joys.

Thank you for being on this journey with me.

Seek celebration — even in dark corners,

xo Sherry

 

P.S. Here’s the link to the Weepies, All this Beauty. (Today’s song.)

P.P.S. Thank you to everyone who writes me emails after each LoveGram. It means the world to me to hear from you. I’m sorry I can’t always respond to everyone each week. I read every single one. I do. You matter.

 

LoveGram: Permission

 

Hello.

Today I want to talk to you about “permission.”

It is my birthday week and I’m swimming around in the shadows — as you can see from the photo up above.

Some hard things are happening. I’m feeling some loss, grief, and uncertainty.

It’s okay. I’m okay. I’m just knee-deep in the muck right now.

We all have periods like that. It is a part of life.

There’s something very important I want to say around this. Many of you know that I am currently midstream in my Birthday Kindness Project. I’m writing 57 letters in 57 days to 57 strangers. Many of these letters are going to people who are grieving, ill, disappointed, lost, or lonely.

These letters are a reminder to me that at any given time, while there is tremendous joy in the world, there is also sorrow of many kinds. The letters are a reminder to me to practice sitting with people in their shadows.

We don’t need to hurry people through their dark times. We can sit with them and help carry the weight.  

This is what I call “celebrating in the dark.”

It is the connection and love we offer (or accept) when times are rough. This quiet kind of celebration is often overlooked because it is more complex than bursts of balloons or confetti. However, it is well worth it.

Maybe you can remember a time when you or a loved one was going through something hard and yet, there you were together. There you were sharing authentic connection and maybe you were walking in nature or sharing a meal. There is a deep sweetness, even in that sorrow. You know what I mean?

When we are looking at celebration in our lives, please let’s remember that we can celebrate our lives and our relationships, even in the midst of the muck.

Something else really important about this, is to be aware when you are going through something hard. Pay attention to yourself. And support yourself in any way you can. Treat yourself like your own best friend.

See me in that photo? See what I’m carrying? Those are sunflowers, my favorite flower, which I bought for myself.

Sunflowers delight me when the first pop out their pretty yellow faces, when they grow and thrive, and also when they start to nod and droop. Even when they hang their heavy heads, they are beautiful! I love all their stages. And when they die, they offer so many seeds to plant. 

A beautiful metaphor for seasons of our lives, right? And I don’t just mean birth to death. We might go through that “sunflower process” many times in our lives.

Sunflowers are just one of the ways I’m caring for myself.  I’m also looking for places where I can give myself a break. I hope you will do this, too, when you need it.

As you are reading this, I hope you are thinking whether YOU need some permission to let go a little. 

Or, if not for yourself, is there someone in your life who may need permission? Can you encourage someone who needs it to give themselves a break?

Below are a few places I’m giving myself permission. Feel free to borrow these and adapt as necessary for yourself!
* I am giving myself permission to send you only a written LoveGram today, no audio. Although I love talking to you and creating audios every week, it requires a lot more work than writing. I’m taking the easy road this week.
* I am giving myself permission to feel grateful for my life and to celebrate being alive, without having to be “happy,” as in “Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday.”
* I’m giving myself the “simply” part of Simply Celebrate, which is the simple joy of connecting with a friend who is able to hold the complexities of life. Or the simple joy of walking in the sunshine, curling up with my butterscotch tabby, listening to a song I love, or taking a mid-day nap.
* I am giving myself permission to feel.
* I am giving myself permission to not respond to the very loving and well-meaning people who want to use my sadness as a moment for them to teach or offer unsolicited advice.
* I am giving myself permission to have conversations with the people I want to talk to, to read the books I want to read, to walk the path that calls to me, to follow my instincts and intuition. (In other words: permission to banish the “shoulds.”)
* I am giving myself permission to dance instead of do kettlebell today.
* I am giving myself permission to lie low, to meditate more, to push less, to pause.
* I am giving myself permission to let the open-heartedness be a gift and to not be afraid of what might fly in.

Those are just a few things I’m permitting.

I ask you again, and please take a minute to really think about this: do you need to give yourself permission today? And what is that permission for?

As always, thank you for being here. YOU MATTER. Never forget that your presence and energy are the biggest gifts of all.

Seek celebration — even in dark corners,
xo Sherry

P.S. Thank you to everyone who wrote and requested Birthday Kindness Letters. I received way more responses than I’ve been able to fulfill just yet. If you haven’t heard back from me, please bear with me!

P.P.S. If you want to listen to an audio LoveGram, I encourage you to scroll through these blog posts or search the word, LoveGram. There are dozens of them posted since March, 2020. Let your intuition guide you on a topic, then click through and listen. (In August, there is an audio called “Permission to be Sad,” if that is a kind of permission you need. Or, July 2020’s, “What Soothes You.” might interest you.) Chance are, you will hear something brand new, even if you have heard that audio in the past!

 

This girl. You.

 

Do you ever catch sight of yourself in the mirror or shadow and think, “Wow, this person has been with me every step of the way. This person has never left my side. She’s trusted me all my life to do the best I can for her.”

I just noticed my shadow as I was rushing up the stairs to catch a train. I felt this flush of affection. This girl has tried so hard all her life to do the right thing, to offer kindness and to find her path. For so many years.. decades!… it all felt so hard. Such a challenge to simply “be.” So many questions of, “Is this enough?” “Am I enough?”

And so this morning, when I noticed her looking kinda Mary Poppins-ish in her shadow, I was overcome with gratitude.

I really like this girl.

And she really likes the world.

Even with all its heartbreak & horrors, she chooses to be here and bring as much light as she can.

She chooses to look for the beauty and love.

It took a whole lot of meditation, reflection, acceptance, and pushing up against internal & external expectations, but this is a new moment. This is a place of permission to be me. Just me, plain & simple.

I wish this for everyone. This feeling that however & whomever we are — through & through— is PERFECT.

We are lovable and perfect exactly as we are.

No hoops to jump through. No masks to don. No uniforms or conformity.

I want to play a larger role in giving people permission to not only be who they are, but to celebrate that person grandly.

I want to help people live & love OUT LOUD.

***

Do you recall a time recently when you felt that permission to be absolutely who you are?

Where were you? Who were you with? What do you think enabled you to feel that acceptance and love for yourself?

I’d love to hear! Will you share your story?

 

Seek celebration — even in the dark corners,

xo Sherry