Earlier this week I was talking to my friend Rosemerry about the “dark night of the soul.”
I don’t know if you’ve ever had one of those periods in your life, but I have.
When I was young, all the way through my twenties, I had a lot of anxiety and depression.
I never felt like I could live up to the expectations I felt — internal or external.
It seemed like my head was always filled with hateful voices about how I was the wrong person, saying the wrong things, doing the wrong things.
I often felt like I was the wrong person.
Do you know what I mean?
Have you experienced that awfulness inside your head?
So, when I was telling Rosemerry about this, I remembered something I used to say all the time: “I think I was a mistake. I don’t belong here.”
That was really how I felt. Like something went awry in the universe and I got born by mistake.
My goodness. I feel so bad for that younger me who believed that nonsense.
I feel so grateful for all of the tools and teachings along the way that have helped me get way past that suffering: meditation, mindfulness, yoga, poetry, therapy, coaching …
…and of course, the moment-by-moment search for pinpricks of light (moments that sparkle.)
My dear friend, Rosemerry, who is also a talented poet, wrote a poem the day after we talked.
I wanted to let you know that in case you ever doubt it, YOU BELONG HERE.
Like Rosemerry says,
“you belong here—
in the alleys, the rooms,
in the meadows, the halls,
in the sacred cathedral
of your body.”
You belong here, in my world. You belong to this family. You belong.
Not only that … I trust with everything I know, that you are perfect exactly as you are.
The world needs you. Even when you don’t see it or believe it.
We love you.
Seek celebration — even in dark corners,