Writer’s note: This was my blog post from Sunday, August 2nd. I guess I must have been so tired, that I forgot to post it! However, maybe there is someone out there today who needs a break. This is for you!
It’s Sunday morning and time for my weekly LoveGram.
I’ve been creating audio LoveGrams every Sunday since this pandemic started as a way to offer a small slice of comfort in an upside down world.
I’m always the first recipient of that comfort because I love connecting with you and it makes me feel like we’re traveling through this craziness together.
This morning, when I walked out to my studio to create your LoveGram, I was met by a brand new hibiscus bush I’d bought yesterday on a whim.
I appreciated the surprise of it. As if some dear friend had left it on the porch for me.
It was me.
The yesterday-me had been thoughtful enough to buy a gift for today-me! And she knew exactly what I wanted/needed.
I wanted color. I needed something bold. I wanted a “hummingbird catcher.” I wanted to be draw those magical creatures closer. I wanted more growth. I wanted nature, at my door.
I needed some brand new joy — something alive and unaffected by pandemics or politics.
When I saw that pretty plant first thing this morning, I realized something else I needed: a break.
It’s been an exhausting week emotionally. Someone very close to me has been dipping deep into despair. This morning feels like a good time to replenish my reserves.
Thus, I realized that I wanted to send you a LoveGram today, but that I was going to make it simpler on myself by skipping the audio.
You can bet there was some arguments in my head about this. “You gotta be consistent. You should show up no matter what. Don’t let people down. You shouldn’t be selfish.”
I noticed the “should” feeling enveloping me. And “should” is not how I want to relate to you. “Should” is not what I want to model for anyone, especially myself.
So, while I am a huge fan of showing up for commitments. I am also a huge fan of being present in the moment. I am a fan of checking in with my heart to see what’s true.
Today what is true is that I want to give myself a break. I want to do what that quote up above says: “collect some small sparkles to soothe the heart.”
My hibiscus plant is a sparkle. The poetry journal from my class with Ellen Bass is a sparkle. Listening to this album by Sigur Ros is a sparkle. Taking a walk in nature is a sparkle. Writing a card to a distant friend is a sparkle.
What about you? Do you need to give yourself a break? What would those small sparkles be? Is there something you can make a little easier in order to create space for yourself?
I’m giving myself a break this morning. I hope it inspires you to do the same, if you need it.
Maybe you are in a great space and you have lots of energy. Maybe you are filled to the brim with sparkle. (Yay!) If so, would you consider reaching out to someone in your life who may be lost, lonely, or grieving? Can you offer them a little soothing sparkle?
Listen to the whispers of your soul. Be kind to yourself and everyone along your path.
We’re all walking each other home. (Thank you, Ram Dass.)
We’ll get through this.
I’m here with you. Thank you for being here with me.
Seek celebration —even in dark corners,