LoveGram: Permission to be sad08-19-2021
I hope you are doing well and finding plenty of ways to take care of yourself and the people you love.
This has been a doozy of a week for me because my son moved out to live in a house near his college campus. (That’s us in the photo. A blink of an eye from babyhood to manhood!)
Holy Toledo! There were so many logistics. So many things to buy. And so many tears.
I had no idea how hard it would hit me the first night he wasn’t here with us in the house.
Have you gone through this? Have you closed one parenthood chapter and started another? Or, maybe it isn’t exactly the same as Empty Nest Syndrome, but maybe you’ve left a job that you had for decades or moved from a neighborhood you loved or lost the physical ability to do something that brought you joy?
And of course, most of us have also had to navigate the huge ocean of grief that pulls us under when someone we love dies.
Loss comes in many shapes and sizes.
If you are going through loss right now, of any kind — big or small — I send you love. I send you a warm blanket that makes you feel safe and cozy. I send you sweet, hot tea in your favorite flowered mug.
I also want to send you a few simple practices that helped me immensely over the past few days.
One of the ways I took care of myself was by posting on Facebook and asking for support and advice. It was the best thing I could have done!
Simply reaching out and asking for help made me feel less alone.
But then, in addition, people offered great advice, support, and love. They posted links to articles. They told me about rituals that helped. Best of all, they gave me permission to feel all the feelings.
If you are facing your own empty nest, I highly recommend that you scroll through these 100+ comments and I promise that you will feel uplifted. People are so loving!
(If you aren’t on Facebook, I’m sorry that you can’t see this post and all the comments right now. However, I am compiling the best advice and links so I can create an “Empty Nest First-Aid Kit.” Stay tuned.)
After a couple days of bawling my eyes out, I also went live on Facebook to share a few things that really helped me get through the sadness, emptiness, and grief.
That video is my LoveGram for today. (Usually I send an audio, but today it is a video LoveGram!)
If you’re going through some big emotions— not just Empty Nest, but any kind of loss and grief, this short video might really help. I hope so.
The three tips I share in the video are a little checklist we can use whenever we are feeling pulled down by the undertow.
I’m here with you in these still challenging and uncertain pandemic times. We are in this together. Sharing our experiences helps.
Reach out to people in your life and ask for or offer support, okay?
Seek celebration — even in dark corners,
P.S. In case you are one of those people (like me!) who sometimes read the postscripts first, here’s the gist of it for today: If you need a little support for something big you are going through — something that brings with it loss, sadness, or grief — today’s video LoveGram offers three simple things that can help. (They helped me big time this week when I was bawling my eyes out!)
P.P.S. I absolutely agree with all of the folks who have encouraged me to be grateful and to celebrate this moment in time for my son. I am! I promise. But let’s remember that it is also important to let ourselves move through our feelings so we get to the other side. We don’t have to immediately put on a happy face and pretend we aren’t feeling what we’re feeling. We can be real live human beings who experience many emotions at once!